Category: cancer

Cancer – WTF #Zodiac #Signs Daily #Horoscope plus #Astrology ! 

Cancer – WTF #Zodiac #Signs Daily #Horoscope plus #Astrology ! 

The Signs as 80’s movies

Aries: Stand by me

Taurus: Steel magnolias

Gemini: Dirty dancing

Cancer: Pretty in pink

Leo: Ferris Bueller’s day off

Virgo: Ghost busters

Libra: The breakfast club

Scorpio: The goonies

Sagittarius: Grease

Capricorn: 16 candles

Aquarius: The outsiders

Pisces: The terminator

The signs as Blair Waldorf quotes

Aries: Haven’t you heard? I’m the crazy bitch around here.

Taurus: Nothing’s holding me back anymore. I know what I want, and I’m gonna get it.

Gemini: I have an idea for you: quit. Your boss is a bitch. Let’s go to lunch.

Cancer: Feelings never do make sense. They get you all confused. Then they drive you around for hours before they drop you right back where you started.

Leo: Ladies, you can put your tiny brains to rest. Once again the world has proven: anything you can do, I can do better!

Virgo: You can’t make people love you, but you can make them fear you.

Libra: You deserve a guy who would move mountains to be with you if he had to.

Scorpio: I’m not a stop along the way. I’m a destination.

Sagittarius: Oh, my life is so bountiful. I don’t need a boyfriend to feel fulfilled.

Capricorn: The most important thing in a relationship is trust. After sex. And hygiene. And earning potential.

Aquarius: Once men have tasted caviar, it baffles me how they settle for catfish.

Pisces: People don’t write sonnets about being compatible, or novels about shared life goals and stimulating conversation. The great loves are the crazy ones.

How long the signs can go without talking to someone

Aries: about a day because they’re reasonable and will want to resolve whatever happened, will probably be angry but thats fine

Taurus: 3 minutes before they start yelling at you again

Gemini: a good 2 days if you made them rather mad but won’t wanna stay in that weird awkward no talking phase

Cancer: a peacemaker so probably like a minute

Leo: a couple months, maybe even years if they can’t be bothered anymore

Virgo: 7 hours, they don’t wanna seem desperate but still wanna be social and have friends

Libra: 12 minutes because their life is their friends

Scorpio: either an hour or a year there is no inbetween

Sagittarius: will be passive aggressive, probably gives like 8 weeks of toleration before they initiate sussing it out properly

Capricorn: eternity.

Aquarius: hates hates being in the no talking zone and having ‘beef’ with people, so abouts half an hour


The signs as reasons i hate being alone

Aries: no one to cuddle while it rains outside

Taurus: must resort to shouting all my witty remarks into the void

Gemini: no one to share chinese takeout with

Cancer: no supportive shoulders to cry on

Leo: no one to encourage me to go to bed a reasonable hour

Virgo: guess i’m drinking this whole bottle of wine alone now

Libra: have to binge watch gossip girl by myself

Scorpio: since when did i start watching porn 

Sagittarius: slowing burying myself in mess and filth since no one else here to care

Capricorn: wake up hugging pillow every morning in empty bed

Aquarius: sadness intensifies 

Pisces: when i run out of toilet paper in the bathroom there’s no one to bring it to me

Source: horrorscopetoday

the signs’ sleeping habits

Aries: on their back or side or mostly anywhere in their bed; barely any blankets, let alone underwear. Heavy sleepers. 

Taurus: stomach or side position, usually the same position every night; soooo many pillows and stuffed animals and blankets. Likes security.Normal sleepers.

Gemini: on their stomach or back; minimal coverage, get hot at night easily. They tend to snore a lot. Heavy sleepers.

Cancer: fetal position or on their back; warm fuzzy blankets, soft things, like to be feeling secure. Like to cuddle with their blankets. Light sleepers.

Leo: mostly on their side; long blankets, the kind of people that NEVER wear socks to sleep. Get annoyed by untucked covers. Light sleepers.

Virgo: lie on their side or back; hate it when their sheets are untucked, like a nice clean bed to sleep in. Really enjoy sleep, and can fall asleep anywhere within five minutes. Normal sleepers.

Libra: lies in any position; the most unorthodox sleepers, they just sleep. No routine really. But they do like a clean bed. Heavy sleepers.

Scorpio: lies on back or stomach; likes minimal blankets, but like their feet and legs covered (lil weirdos). Normal sleepers.

Sagittarius: sleeps in many positions, mostly with their arms all over the place; likes pillows. They could fall out of bed in the middle of the night and still not wake up. HEAVY sleepers.

Capricorn: sleeps on side or back; likes many layers of blankets, and tends to toss and turn at night. Prone to weird dreams. Light sleepers.

Aquarius: sleeps on their side; likes security and a lot of coverage. Can’t deal with too many pillows. Light sleepers.

Pisces: sleeps on their side, back, stomach; has vivid dreams, talks in their sleep. Really likes blankets, and is bothered by a messy bed. Tends to snore. Normal sleepers.



Aries: Babe

Taurus: Darling

Gemini: Baby girl

Cancer: Princess

Leo: Queen

Virgo: Cutie

Libra: Gorgeous

Scorpio: Kitten

Sagittarius: Sexy

Capricorn: Goddess

Aquarius: Angel

Pisces: Beautiful

Why i fell in love with the signs pt 2


aries: loyalty. no matter what happened you were always there for everyone you loved.

taurus: comfort. you knew just when to hold my hand and when to let me breathe

gemini: attentiveness. you never missed a phone call and never looked at anything but me when we were together.

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The signs studying for exams


Aries: Has no social life because they’re too busy studying and freaking out

Taurus: Needs the perfect studying conditions including available snacks and water

Gemini: Appears productive but is actually trying to make their notes look pretty and doesn’t get much done

Keep reading

Cancer – WTF #Zodiac #Signs Daily #Horoscope plus #Astrology ! 

Cancer – WTF #Zodiac #Signs Daily #Horoscope plus #Astrology !