wtfzodiacsigns:

Aries: always ready to fight, has an opinion about literally everything, is 100% about everything- no halfheartedness, cuddles and popcorn, anxious, energetic, basically a golden retriever in a human’s body.

Taurus: never wants you when you want them, loves playing the victim, will do anything for attention, v paranoid, small kind gestures, will def take advantage of you but try to pay you back and not be able to, life of the party.

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ARIES is either already in charge or determined to be in charge so they do their tasks with confidence. They always have an issue with someone but also know everyone.

TAURUS does what they’re supposed to do and rarely talks. They only open their mouth when they disagree with what someone said. 

GEMINI either puts on that fake smile or lets everyone know what they’re feeling/thinking. Either way, a couple people find them annoying while the other 20 like them. Their multi-tasking makes them busy workers.

CANCER is always smiling, even if they secretly want to punch their co-workers and/or boss, and listens to other’s stories, giving them advice even if they could care less. Their work is average. 

LEO is friends with everyone, except that one person who doesn’t give them the right amount of attention, and is the manager or assistant manager. If not, they will be soon. 

VIRGO nags the ones who aren’t doing their job correctly and then sucks up to the boss to get a raise. Everything they do is overly done because that’s the way it has to be.  

LIBRA does their job swiftly and delicately, making sure to keep the environment comfortable for everyone, especially themselves and socialize with anyone who is nice. 

SCORPIO keeps to themselves but still has a few close friends. They never reveal anything about their work and personal life and work their best to satisfy and be satisfied. 

SAGITTARIUS brings a lot of energy to the work place ensuring that their duties are quickly done. It won’t be long until they climb the ladder to the top, gaining many friends along the way. 

CAPRICORN is always carrying out their responsibilities so that someone will notice and put them in a higher position. It usually happens. They talk to people but rarely make friends. 

AQUARIUS tries their best to keep a smile on their face. They do what they’re told but in their own way which gets them in trouble. They still do it anyway. They talk to anyone but don’t get close.

PISCES never complains or yells and is willing to help their co-workers with whatever they need. Because of this, they’re well liked and appreciated. Being in charge is not their concern, they just want to assist and do their part.

Source: jessicastrovibes

Aries: They are good at assessing others’ strengths and weaknesses and would be able to use this ability to their advantage.

Taurus: They would be good at tracking small changes that could be utilized to improve the business.

Gemini: They would be able to look at different business offers and consider them all carefully, without getting too excited over one and choosing it before looking at others.

Cancer: They would know when it is be wise to explore different options, but they also when to hold back and stay careful.

Leo: A Leo boss would be charming enough to have employees both willing and happy to do as they say.

Virgo: A Virgo would be dedicated to making the business as successful as possible, and thus would be willing to fire unhelpful employees, without regard to personal preferences.

Libra: They are unbiased and would be able to promote capable employees into positions of power, after making sure that they are able to do the job.

Scorpio: They wouldn’t back down or succumb to intimidation tactics when making a deal with another business.

Sagittarius: They would be able to quickly assess what should be done in the case of an emergency and are willing to make changes to solve a problem.

Capricorn: Their apparent confidence, their ambition, and their perseverance would be inspiring to employees.

Aquarius: They are organized and would be able to prevent business matters from stressing them out and getting to their head.

Pisces: Their creativity would be an asset, as they would come up with new ideas to replace older methods that are no longer helpful/of use.

Source: zodiacfrickfracks

wtfzodiacsigns:

Aries:

The headstrong ram is always thinking about death. It can be their own death or the death of their loved ones. It is creepy but if you are an Aries, you will definitely know how much obsessed you are about death.

Taurus:

You have experienced the creepy Taurus if he was your ex. It doesn’t matter if he is over with or not. He will keep on stalking you all over the social media. A Taurus will always have your eyes on you. Don’t get frustrated by this because it’s their natural trait. You can’t-do anything about it.

Gemini:

Keep reading

wtfzodiacsigns:

aries: honest and upfront people. willing to take a bullet for someone. dedicated and understanding. will go the extra mile without complaint and wants to help as much as they can.

taurus: reserved and self-restricting. will only open up to close friends/family and will be a short lived confession of emotions. cry maybe four times a year but secretly have the weight of the world on their shoulders.

gemini: won’t stop talking until you tell them bluntly. has a charm that cannot be put into words and can make you feel alive. loves to talk shit but means well. needs a filter on their mouths.

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aries: dancing in the pouring rain

taurus: lip sync wars, rap battles, and karaoke-offs with your best friend/s

gemini: rolling down giant, green hills like a little kid

cancer: going out for ice cream at 2 am

leo: impromptu dressing room fashion shows

virgo: randomly redecorating your entire room/house solely for the sense of change and refreshment

libra: buying something you’ve wanted forever on a whim

scorpio: going to the beach in the middle of the night

sagittarius: driving around just to get lost

capricorn: building blanket forts and having movie marathons

aquarius: playing your favorite childhood video games and experiencing the fun and nostalgia all over again

pisces: staying awake all night just to see the sunrise

Source:emoastrology

aries: always carries butterscotch in her fanny pack, loves rollercoasters, hits rotten kids with cane, “hip” grandma

taurus: bakes cookies every other day and has grandchildren who she always wants to pamper/spoil and fatten up with sweets

gemini: has raised like 13 orphans/foster kids in her care and loves children but usually doesn’t have any of her own, super frugal and knows all the money-saving life hacks

cancer: loves her grandchildren more than her own children, her kids may resent her for trying to steal theirs, goes out of her way to make sure her family is supported and cared for, loves art museums and goes multiple times a week

leo: actually 86 but looks like she’s 46, wears coco chanel and carries coach handbags, probably modeled in her younger days

virgo: independent and self-sufficient small old lady, stays fit and goes on morning power-walks, all about happiness and always loves to see people around her happy/smiling

libra: knows all the grandmas in the neighborhood and loves to host “get-togethers”, lives in the suburbs, always very friendly and approachable and the kids on her block love her dearly

scorpio: hot grandma, dresses in high-end fashion no matter what financial standpoint, “hip” grandma with aries, grandchildren (if any) aspire to be her

sagittarius: grandma that goes out with friends all the times, takes road trips by herself, loves to take grandchildren on adventures and goes against their parents’ wishes often just for fun

capricorn: very close with family and likes to keep tabs on them, enjoys simple things like sitting in the park and feeding the birds, writes novels and short stories to read to grandchildren/community kids

aquarius: always has a new story to tell any time you see her, loves to see her loved ones smile, pretends to sleep on train/bus rides just to scare people into thinking she’s dead

pisces: tiny old woman you feel the urge to pick up and carry around, has the cutest and softest laugh, loves to cook and please her family and friends, very affectionate

Aries: gets into a fist fight with Gemini, they both end up with bloody noses, then work together to hunt food

Taurus: gathers materials and ends up building a hut complete with a bed and kitchen

Gemini: makes a bow and arrow to hunt animals to feed the group, “accidentally” shoots an arrow past Pisces’ head

Cancer: crawls into the remains of their wrecked ship and starts tallying down the days they’ve been castaway in the wood

Leo: goes swimming in the ocean despite the rest advising them not to, gets broils on their skin and probably almost drowns

Virgo: keeps positive and tries to reassure the rest of the group that they’ll survive, but probably is the first to die

Libra: is most upset about not having wifi, that motivates them to work with Capricorn to find the best way off the island

Scorpio: sacrifices a squirrel to the daily bonfire in hopes satan will rescue them

Sagittarius: is the first to explore the island, climbs the tallest tree to scope out the area, picks coconuts and accidentally drops it on someone (probably Pisces)

Capricorn: thinks back to the survival tips they learned from Man vs. Wild and makes an SOS sign with branches and leaves

Aquarius: thinks it’s actually pretty cool on the island, eats anything they see and probably dies from poison berries

Pisces: lives in constant fear of the other signs, probably tries to swim away with their fish skills but drowns

Source: horoskippy

Aries: Toilet paper is complicated.

Taurus: You give me food and homework answers. I give you – what do I give you? – I give you expensive Christmas gifts.

Gemini: I wonder what it’s like to be in the ceiling.

Cancer: *clicks like a beaver*

Leo: And next up … The Emperor, sporting Victoria’s Secret!

Virgo: The sky is blue because it’s a blanket.

Libra: Glasses are painful.

Scorpio: wAIT did you just say “same” to “THAT IS SATAN ON STEROIDS?” that does nOT APPLY. At least, I don’t think it does.

Sagittarius: Oh, I forgot there was a floor.

Capricorn: You’ve eaten a lot of dead elves.

Aquarius: Your shoes smell nice. WHY do your SHOES smell NICE?!

Pisces: Have you ever played finding seek?

Source: lilisalazarslytherin

[Aries♈️ – Your situation for August?]

Aries, your situation is interesting! Because after shuffling and pulling cards, you had no pentacles pop out! this for me would be an indication that when it comes to your fiances and carer, there will others things on your mind. Many of you could be feeling as if you are “Forced” into a state of contemplation, the divine will be asking for you to look “deeper” and past the materials that you can gain.Your situation is very positive! you will be experiencing or feeling as if you are living the life of “luxury and relaxation”, as if you do not have a care in the world.The Universe will a so be offering you something new? perhaps a new project of goal to be accomplished? For those of you who have a “connection” on your mind, all of these things will become intertwined.

[✨Advice from spirit✨]

The advice for a very selective to a small group of Aries. Some of you, although you have all that you could ever ask for, are feeling  as if something has gone “terrible Wong”. Some of you could feel as if others or the “universe” is judging you. Many of you are looking to this “relaxed” energy around so that you can pull it into your future, that is what you are hoping the universe will do for you.Others of you believe that the under will do just the opposite of that, and that they will take everything that you now have – and it puts you into a state of panic! This is why they could be calling for you to look “within”. Why is it that you fear losing this money and air of Relaxation? Think “deeply”about this Aries. If you cannot find a solution that fist the picture, you must remember that there is more to life then just materials. Things you cannot buy with money.

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[Taurus♉️ – Your situation for August?]

There will be a lot going on around you Taurus, your friends and family will be surrounding you with non stop time of laughter and just over all a feeling of “community” and “Togetherness”. Many of you will be putting your fiances towards your family and making your home more stable, and this could make you seem cold when it comes to “emotions” and your “heart”. Many of you are also looking to release something that could have caused you to become cold and hard. Something or someone has hurt you, and so you are tying you best to just go with the flow, and see where the universe will place you next, you are hoping and praying for a good outcome.

[✨Advice from spirit✨]

Your advice from spirit is to just continue on, slowly make your way further from the past. Things will come up to “trigger” you, but they will also help you “release”what is trying to “Hold” and keep you from having a new start.Something has come full circle, a patter that had to be “finished”, the universe is now asking that you build up the place you call “home” What things can you do to improve that will also help you financially? When your daemons do resurface and attempt to pull you back into a  state of :”Fear”, you will need to be “The Emperor”, use your voice and intellect to “Put them in their place”,that they have no future with you.The stars are guiding you to a better place, and you are aware of this deep down in your heart and soul. Trust in yourself Taurus,everything will be just fine.

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[Gemini♊️ – Your situation for August?]

You could have experienced a great amount of “Transformation” just last month Gemini, and it could have made you aware of something going on. There was a moment of clarity that hit you! This situation could involve you and a group of people,who were evasive when it came to truth and lies. This could have actually had you feeling “stuck” or “bored” with a situation. For some for you, the “Transformative” energies are still around you! You are now dedicated to becoming new! You are growing in all areas of your life! how you speak and hold yourself. How you open up and express your emotions to others and yourself. While some of you will feel as if this is a burden to an extent, others of you are looking to it as if it is a “goal” that must be achieved. If anybody tries to stop you from experiencing this “transformation”, you aren’t afraid to cut them down and away from your path.

[✨Advice from spirit✨]

While some of you already have a “footing” in when it comes to this new stage of your life, many of you could feel as if you are just begging.There are things that you are unaware of at the moment, things you cannot see and yet they are going and being arranged by the universe for you highest good! The universe asks for you to “go with the flow”, let your past fears dissolve behind you, because everything is being worked out for the good of everyone.All of your hard work will pay off, and even in more ways that “money” and “materials”.

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[Cancer♋️ -Your situation for August?]

Cancer when it comes to your money this month, it feels as though Love could also be intertwined with your situation.  A past love could have caused you to feel stuck in some way? some of you feeling conflicted when it came to “who” would get your cup of love.You are calling for justice and peace when it comes to this situation,many of yo want to avoid and kind of conflict. Some of you are being forced to see this situation form a different perspective, the universe calls for you to go “within” and to”remove the blinds from your eyes” You are stuck in your head, when you should be in your heart.

[✨Advice from Spirit✨]

Spirit is saying that many are involved in this situation, and that if there is justice to be done,all will be given justice in a fare way. There could have been people that did not have the best or purist of intentions for you, some of them even working to keep you in the place that you now find yourself in “feeling Stuck”. When the truth is, you are not stuck. There is conflict going on around one,and yet you will have to be very strong and keep yourself grounded. The wheel is turning for everyone, you just have to wait for your turn.

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[Leo♌️ – Your situation for August?]

Leo you are clear about what you want this month! Especially when it comes to your money, finances, and carer.This could also involve you speaking up and communicating to others about your intentions! You are looking to start of a new project or goal, this is something that will be new for you. Some of you could also be experiencing some type of conflict from the people who are constantly around you,so family or friends. They could be arguing about this new thing that you wish to start off once more. For some of you, this could be reigniting an old relationship or connection! one that has been around before and could be seen as new or underdeveloped to many.

[✨Advice from Spirit✨]

A part of you already knows that you will be victorious, especially when it comes to being in a place of “contemplation”, the sun is shinning down upon you.This new project will start off slow, but it will definitely get you to the place that you want it to be! pace yourself when it comes to new endever. Sleep,eat, go out and spend time with others, you will reach your destination with time. When it comes to the people who disagree with on this new project of yours, show them that you are capable of accomplishing this feat! this is all about you Leo and nobody else! One you feel secure and stable in the process and work, no one will have a reason to question you.

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[Virgo♍️ – Your situation for August?

Virgo when it comes to your financial life and carer, you will be looking to offer a new sense of “determination”and “commitment” when it comes to the things that you love. You are going to be asking yourself some of these questions- What is it that i love? what am i passionate about? what make me feel bored and uninterested? These are the things that you will start to implement or remove from your life. You are building something new, and it will revolve around more love and your heart. Some of you have been working on releasing pains and hurt from the past. Some have already achieved the goal, while others of you are still in the process of healing.

[✨Advice from Spirit✨]

Virgo this new process and adventure you are about to experience will take much time, it is one that will take much faith and patience, do not rush the process.Go outside, spend time with family and friends, take a vacation and walk around in nature- you will get to where you need to be eventually! Your journey has just begun! Where you were once feeling stuck and unfulfilled, spirit now takes the reins to your chariot and drives you forward, they will get you to the next “Startling line”. when the gun goes off, it will be your time to shine. If your mind ever returns to pains that you had to learn to release and heal from, just know that it was meant to teach you something important. If this involves love, than it was meant to teach you as a individual  what you want in a “partnership”.

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[Libra♎️ – Your situation for August]

Libra, you are experiencing some form of confusion. Many of you are going to feel as if you world has been turned upside down, and now you don’t know how to see things. With the blood rushing to your head, some of you have moments of complete blacking out, while others of you are processing way to much information that it lave you confused and irritated.Even so, you are working diligently at your crafts and what gives you and income. Some of you are so focused, that others might feel as if you have gone “off grid” in a sense. While you are working on your money and fiances, some of you will be looking to offer something to a person who is well established when it comes to their finances and carer. Aside from all of this, you are also trying to keep yourself balanced when it comes to “giving and receiving”

[✨Advice from Spirit✨]

Your advice is to not “overwork” yourself Libra, balance out your work time with time for “relaxation” and simply” being”, this will be a key factor to your success. While you might be thinking of offering love to another person in your heart, you must also keep in mind to not lose your sense of “Identity”. Remember that even you need to give yourself some love and compassion. Some of you might be fearing a future that has not even come into fruition or your reality just yet, know that everything happens for a reason, and it is always for your highest good. Know that with every fail that you experience, you can always chose to get up again once more and try again! This time building the foundations more sturdy and with even stronger materials! You are stabilizing at the moment Libra, don’t let others get in the way or ruin what you have already built!

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[Scorpio♏️ – Your situation for August?]

Scorpio! Of all the sign I have read for, yours are the best! Many of you are feeling as if you are externally abundant!You are somebody who has enough money to give it to others if they really needed it. Your home life is also very good! For others of you, there could be a person like this that is on you mind, and you might work closely with them. Some of you could be “imaging” what a life could be with them! While most of this could be going on in your head, there will be very little “movement” in making it become a reality just yet. In your heart, you are feeling Victorious overall – a part of you knows that your future will also be looking extremely positive! You will be feeling very relaxed and in a state of Celebration because you understand that you will be Supported when it comes to creating what you want for your future! Also just a head up to some of you Scorpios, there could be rumors that involve your lively hood! that or there are people who are aware of your success and abundance. Be extremely careful as to who you let in you close circle, a spy could be among you. A wolf in sheep’s clothing.

[✨Advice from Spirit✨]

For those who are worrying about a connection or relationship and feeling trapped, you have to get out of your head. Perhaps your mind will not be the one to “clear” you from the blinds that you now wear. You are conscious of something there that is not “conventional” to other situations or connections ,and so you mustlook to alternative ways of understanding this connection. Take a step back, and really contemplate of what that just is.Some of you are also looking to distract yourself when it comes to fears about a victory you have already claimed! Some of you could have “moved”locations or traveled to get to this “victory” and yet you are feeling “lost”, you cannot seem to comprehend why you “feel a certain way”. This would be a good time to “give back” to others! Lend out a helping hand, make someone smile! and be open to others who want to to the same for you! For the single Scorpios,Flirt! give them your best smile and Let go of the things that could have kept you in fear. You have everything that you need to create your desired outcome.

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[Sagittarius♐️ – Your situation for August?]

Sagittarius, some of you will be burring yourself under work! that and you are waiting for some things to become “ripe”enough for the picking! Many of theses things you have already put your time and energy into have a special place in your heart! you believe they will bring you much happiness. The Determination you contentiously had to place into it, will be worth it, and you aren’t giving up on it any time soon.Your mind will be planning on when and how to “reflect” about your own struggle and blocks when it came to your finances and carer. Against all odds, many of you have found a place of great balance, and if not yet, that is what the universe is asking for you to do. Keep yourself balanced and grounded. This month you will be steadily growing and changing,but you must remember to remind yourself to keep “balanced”, grow a little, and then rest. Implement what you have learned and then grow some more. You will have many beings around you that are going to be of great help, some you can see and some you cannot. Dont be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

[✨Advice from Spirit✨]

Many of you are already aware of just “What” you want in life! it is clear as day! while you might feel like a page at the moment, remember that all journey have their starting point. During your moment of darkness, let the stars guide you. When fears and doubts come up about your own journey and you feel lost or dumbfounded, ask for help, sit with the universe and ask for assistance. Release what no longer serves you, this involving old thought patterns and things that are only harming and holding you down. Spirit is controlling everything at the moment, and they are getting you setup and placed at your next staring points!

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[Capricorn♑️ – Your situation for August?]

Capricorn,many of you are feeling as if you have many things to worry about, so much that it actually might feel like you are carrying a heavy bag on your back. You are continuing to battle and move forward in difficult situation. some of you could have experienced a “minor” set back when it comes to your money and financial life, word could be getting around about the situation, so it might cause you some discomfort. You are wanting to start off something new! a new passion or goal of your has been once again “Ignited!” For some of you, this could involve an organization or group you often associate yourself with, and for others, it might feel as if “they” are the ones keeping you stuck and in fear? You might be fearing their judgment in what you want to do with your life. This has to do with the matters of your heart Capricorn.

[✨Advice from Spirit✨]

Spirit is calling for you to be strong this month Capricorn, continue to fight on! If something comes up and it feel like you are being “setback” hen it comes to life, just know that it has its purpose and reason. DO NOT listen to the voices in your head, if they are telling you that you will somehow be “left out” when it comes to experiencing life, they are only lies.Find a way to open up and release all of your fears, find a way to “transmute” your thoughts so that they can become silent, but remember to speak with your heart, and to give compassion and love to not only yourself, but onto others. Not everyone is out to hurt you Capricorn, there are people who care. You Have got to be one of them. Speaking up about these hurts and pains will actually bring you a sense of peace and healing, if you attempt to mask it with “distractions” , the feeling of hurt and pain will only continue to cycle in. You are worth itCapricorn. YOU must tell yourself this! YOU DESERVE to be happy, to smile, to feel loved, and to be abundant! its all on your Capricorn.

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[Aquarius♒️ – Your situation this month?]

This month you will be going in to do some “soul searching”, because you might have been scratching your headwhen it comes to feeling abundant in certain places in your life. The thing is you have any places and ares to feel abundant about, even if you cant see them quite at eh moment. Think of it like seeds you have recently just planted, the roots will take some time to become “grounded”, and the plant will need some time to grow out of the dirt. Its there, even if you cant see it. If you are not doing this already, some of you will be looking to “test the waters” on this matter, however that might look for you.You will be looking to speak up and be open and vulnerable about the subject to others. If you are in a partnership, it will be to your spouse or partner. If you are on “your own” at the moment, it will be towards friends and even coworkers. There is something you want to strengthen, both physically and emotionally.

[✨Advice from Spirit✨]

you are very confident this month Aquarius! that’s a good thing! But if you don’t feel so confident, its time to look at this situation from a different prescriptive. You will have to actively place yourself within the energies of the “Hanged man”, this means you “slow down” and not make any “hasty decision”. If you are “pushed” back, try to find out why. While it might feel as if you have very little, what you believe to be “Little” could be a blessing to many. There is still more to come, perhaps it is time to “Give back” to those who might have helped you when times where hard? Some of you will also have to “face” and “fess up” when it comes to a situation or person? love does involve this, and its something that “splits you in half”, your heart knows truth, that your mind cannot explain. Remember that if you do not write your own story, you will be writing another’s. How is your story progressing so far Aquarius? are you happy with it so far?

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[Pisces♓️ – Your situation for August?]

Pisces, you are going to be pulling all of your resources in during this month. You are going to be looking over what you already have  and why you should be “grateful” If you don’t speak about this with others externally, you will be doing this Internally.Your head will be focused on  the matters of Justice, there is something that needs to be said, and yet you ant this to be fair to everyone, so you are going to be logical, and less in your emotions. Many of you already feel as if you are Emotionally fulfilled- some of you having your wishes and dreams fulfilled or achieved just recently! Inside of you, your will is beginning to balance out and feel “steady” if the last months have been stormy. Spiritually, many of you will also be feeling somewhat conflicted, that or there will be a lot of conflict going on around you, there is a defense air to it, and it feels as if something is going to end, especially in your physical world. If you have to defend yourself this month Pisces, be sure to let them know where you “stand” if is truly how you feel within.

[✨Advice from Spirit✨]

Pisces while you might not be to worried about you fiances and carer this month, just know that everything is looking positive! So much might be going on, that you you don’t even have enough time to worry about it! Speak and tell yourself that you are already “Abundant” and that willbecome your reality! you must feel as if the “abundance” is already with you, as it always is! Some of you could be feeling closed off and stoic when it comes to anything that involves a “relationship” or “connection”, spirit is saying to learn to open up and become vulnerable one again. Find the strength and courage to open u to heart to love, If not for another, for yourself. Something unexpected might occur this month,and it could look like a disaster, but just know that it is a “victory”in reality!, everything happens for a reason, even if we cant quite understand it. you have nothing to worry about Pisces, be like your element and flow freely.

Source: ace01taro