Aries: Stand by me
Taurus: Steel magnolias
Gemini: Dirty dancing
Cancer: Pretty in pink
Leo: Ferris Bueller’s day off
Virgo: Ghost busters
Libra: The breakfast club
Scorpio: The goonies
Capricorn: 16 candles
Aquarius: The outsiders
Pisces: The terminator
Aries: Haven’t you heard? I’m the crazy bitch around here.
Taurus: Nothing’s holding me back anymore. I know what I want, and I’m gonna get it.
Gemini: I have an idea for you: quit. Your boss is a bitch. Let’s go to lunch.
Cancer: Feelings never do make sense. They get you all confused. Then they drive you around for hours before they drop you right back where you started.
Leo: Ladies, you can put your tiny brains to rest. Once again the world has proven: anything you can do, I can do better!
Virgo: You can’t make people love you, but you can make them fear you.
Libra: You deserve a guy who would move mountains to be with you if he had to.
Scorpio: I’m not a stop along the way. I’m a destination.
Sagittarius: Oh, my life is so bountiful. I don’t need a boyfriend to feel fulfilled.
Capricorn: The most important thing in a relationship is trust. After sex. And hygiene. And earning potential.
Aquarius: Once men have tasted caviar, it baffles me how they settle for catfish.
Pisces: People don’t write sonnets about being compatible, or novels about shared life goals and stimulating conversation. The great loves are the crazy ones.
Aries: about a day because they’re reasonable and will want to resolve whatever happened, will probably be angry but thats fine
Taurus: 3 minutes before they start yelling at you again
Gemini: a good 2 days if you made them rather mad but won’t wanna stay in that weird awkward no talking phase
Cancer: a peacemaker so probably like a minute
Leo: a couple months, maybe even years if they can’t be bothered anymore
Virgo: 7 hours, they don’t wanna seem desperate but still wanna be social and have friends
Libra: 12 minutes because their life is their friends
Scorpio: either an hour or a year there is no inbetween
Sagittarius: will be passive aggressive, probably gives like 8 weeks of toleration before they initiate sussing it out properly
Aquarius: hates hates being in the no talking zone and having ‘beef’ with people, so abouts half an hour
Pisces: 2 SECONDS FLAT
Aries: no one to cuddle while it rains outside
Taurus: must resort to shouting all my witty remarks into the void
Gemini: no one to share chinese takeout with
Cancer: no supportive shoulders to cry on
Leo: no one to encourage me to go to bed a reasonable hour
Virgo: guess i’m drinking this whole bottle of wine alone now
Libra: have to binge watch gossip girl by myself
Scorpio: since when did i start watching porn
Sagittarius: slowing burying myself in mess and filth since no one else here to care
Capricorn: wake up hugging pillow every morning in empty bed
Aquarius: sadness intensifies
Pisces: when i run out of toilet paper in the bathroom there’s no one to bring it to me
Aries: on their back or side or mostly anywhere in their bed; barely any blankets, let alone underwear. Heavy sleepers.
Taurus: stomach or side position, usually the same position every night; soooo many pillows and stuffed animals and blankets. Likes security.Normal sleepers.
Gemini: on their stomach or back; minimal coverage, get hot at night easily. They tend to snore a lot. Heavy sleepers.
Cancer: fetal position or on their back; warm fuzzy blankets, soft things, like to be feeling secure. Like to cuddle with their blankets. Light sleepers.
Leo: mostly on their side; long blankets, the kind of people that NEVER wear socks to sleep. Get annoyed by untucked covers. Light sleepers.
Virgo: lie on their side or back; hate it when their sheets are untucked, like a nice clean bed to sleep in. Really enjoy sleep, and can fall asleep anywhere within five minutes. Normal sleepers.
Libra: lies in any position; the most unorthodox sleepers, they just sleep. No routine really. But they do like a clean bed. Heavy sleepers.
Scorpio: lies on back or stomach; likes minimal blankets, but like their feet and legs covered (lil weirdos). Normal sleepers.
Sagittarius: sleeps in many positions, mostly with their arms all over the place; likes pillows. They could fall out of bed in the middle of the night and still not wake up. HEAVY sleepers.
Capricorn: sleeps on side or back; likes many layers of blankets, and tends to toss and turn at night. Prone to weird dreams. Light sleepers.
Aquarius: sleeps on their side; likes security and a lot of coverage. Can’t deal with too many pillows. Light sleepers.
Pisces: sleeps on their side, back, stomach; has vivid dreams, talks in their sleep. Really likes blankets, and is bothered by a messy bed. Tends to snore. Normal sleepers.
Gemini: Baby girl
aries: loyalty. no matter what happened you were always there for everyone you loved.
taurus: comfort. you knew just when to hold my hand and when to let me breathe
gemini: attentiveness. you never missed a phone call and never looked at anything but me when we were together.
Aries: Has no social life because they’re too busy studying and freaking out
Taurus: Needs the perfect studying conditions including available snacks and water
Gemini: Appears productive but is actually trying to make their notes look pretty and doesn’t get much done